Deconstructing Your Faith
As an adult, I have watched many of my close friends walk away from the Christian faith they once professed. The cultural hashtag for this spiritual trajectory is “deconstruction”, and it seems to be gaining speed. Within the past week, I’ve had conversations with at least four different people who are on their own journeys of deconstruction.
Without question, there are many different reasons for this deconstructing phenomenon.
Some were raised in churches with more legalism than love. Their community of faith was built on a foundation of rules and restrictions, and so they naturally went looking for life-giving relationships somewhere else … away from the church.
Some were raised in broken homes that never provided a solid framework for their faith. Once they left the home, their spiritual convictions proved to be nothing more than the childhood residue of their parents’ religion, and it was all too easy to just walk away.
Some attended liberal colleges where they were overwhelmed by the polished rhetoric and philosophical arguments of antibiblical worldviews.
Some moved to the cultural hotspots in the megacities where they were mesmerized by the lights and ladders of the American Dream. Something deep in their heart resonated with Hollywood’s call to “let it go, let it go; don’t hold it back anymore.” And so they did.
Some have been undone by the tidal wave of religious celebrities (pastors, authors, musicians, bloggers, etc.) who have publicly denounced the Christian faith.
Some have been devastated by influential ministry leaders whose personal lives were discovered to be riddled with financial corruption and sexual manipulation.
Some have witnessed enough of the horrors on this planet that they are no longer able to reconcile the God of the Bible with reality. How could a good and sovereign God allow this (fill in the blank) to happen?
And many have been unwittingly discipled by the online world of social media where deconstructing one’s faith is propagated with “a trailblazing spirit” bearing the marks of inner strength and personal authenticity.
Whatever the reasons (and there are undoubtedly many more), we live in a day when deconstructing (or disassembling or dismantling or deconverting) one’s faith is in vogue. It’s simply the next step in a postmodern society.
So, how do we engage our friends and family members who have pitched their tent under the banner of deconstructionism?
In my personal conversations, there are three messages I try to communicate.
So, to my dear friends who have embarked on the journey of deconstruction, know that I am praying for you – even as I write this. I am praying that God would give you grace to be (1) transparent with your doubts, (2) truthful with your questions, and (3) tenacious with His Word.
Without question, there are many different reasons for this deconstructing phenomenon.
Some were raised in churches with more legalism than love. Their community of faith was built on a foundation of rules and restrictions, and so they naturally went looking for life-giving relationships somewhere else … away from the church.
Some were raised in broken homes that never provided a solid framework for their faith. Once they left the home, their spiritual convictions proved to be nothing more than the childhood residue of their parents’ religion, and it was all too easy to just walk away.
Some attended liberal colleges where they were overwhelmed by the polished rhetoric and philosophical arguments of antibiblical worldviews.
Some moved to the cultural hotspots in the megacities where they were mesmerized by the lights and ladders of the American Dream. Something deep in their heart resonated with Hollywood’s call to “let it go, let it go; don’t hold it back anymore.” And so they did.
Some have been undone by the tidal wave of religious celebrities (pastors, authors, musicians, bloggers, etc.) who have publicly denounced the Christian faith.
Some have been devastated by influential ministry leaders whose personal lives were discovered to be riddled with financial corruption and sexual manipulation.
Some have witnessed enough of the horrors on this planet that they are no longer able to reconcile the God of the Bible with reality. How could a good and sovereign God allow this (fill in the blank) to happen?
And many have been unwittingly discipled by the online world of social media where deconstructing one’s faith is propagated with “a trailblazing spirit” bearing the marks of inner strength and personal authenticity.
Whatever the reasons (and there are undoubtedly many more), we live in a day when deconstructing (or disassembling or dismantling or deconverting) one’s faith is in vogue. It’s simply the next step in a postmodern society.
So, how do we engage our friends and family members who have pitched their tent under the banner of deconstructionism?
In my personal conversations, there are three messages I try to communicate.
- First, I want to encourage them to see that their questions are normal. Followers of Jesus have always struggled with questions of faith since the very beginning (Matt 8:26; 14:31; Mark 9:24; 16: 11–14; John 20:25). The soundtrack of the Bible resounds with doubts and questions (Psa 22:1; 77:9). Kings, prophets, patriarchs, apostles…they all wrestled with God over things they couldn’t understand. So, if you are struggling in your faith, you are certainly not alone. And you never will be.
- Secondly, I want to reinforce that sincere questions are healthy. Every single one of us should be examining our beliefs, engaging our doubts, and probing the deep questions of our faith (2 Cor 13:5; 2 Pet 1:10–11). Many people don’t realize that it actually brings God joy when we wrestle with Him (Gen 32:28)! In reality, the Christian who stops asking questions is the Christian who stops growing.
Yes, the Bible calls us to put our faith in God (Heb 11:6), but this does not mean that we must suppress our doubts, ignore our suspicions, or silence our questions. On the contrary, faith is believing in God (His character and His promises) even in the midst of our doubts, suspicions, and questions. Faith is trusting in God’s Word even as we ask our questions and give voice to our doubts (a great example of this is Psalm 77). God is calling us to bring all of it to Him (Psa 62:8; 1 Pet 5:7). He can handle your darkest doubts. He can handle your exasperated questions. He’s God. So far, so good. But here's where the pushback comes. - After affirming the normalcy and validity of their questions, I want to warn them of the hopelessness of looking for truth outside of God’s Word. Hollywood doesn’t have the answers. Oprah doesn't have the words of life. Social media is not a compass for truth. Science will never fill the void in your soul. God’s Word alone has the truth that sets people free (John 8:32; 17:17).
Untethering morality from its biblical moorings has only ever resulted in ruin and heartbreak (Genesis 3).
Are Christians perfect? No. But the Word of God is (Psa 18:30; Prov 30:5; John 17:17).
Has the church struggled with hypocritical leadership, toxic beliefs, and antiquarian traditions? Absolutely. If we’re all sinners (Rom 3:23), then the church is bound to have its struggles (1 Cor. 1–16; Rev. 2–3). This is why we must continually build every part of our life (our theology, worldview, ideology, morality, ethics, relationships, government, family, church, etc.) on the Word of God (Psa 119:105; Matt 7:24–27; 24:35).
So, to my dear friends who have embarked on the journey of deconstruction, know that I am praying for you – even as I write this. I am praying that God would give you grace to be (1) transparent with your doubts, (2) truthful with your questions, and (3) tenacious with His Word.
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